For blue skies

Today I went to the beach to clear my mind again. It's amazing how healing the sea can be. I remember in a Rob Bell podcast how he talks about how the salt/water ratio in the sea is similar to that in the womb, and that's why so many people have a sense of affinity with the sea.

2016 is here, unapologetically urging me to make goals and resolutions to be a better me. But as a perfectionist I'm always striving to be a better me. Alas, I still resolve to do this, that and the other on January 1st because I like marking milestones and what better place to start than at the start of the year?

This year will be about mindfulness and self love — something I've always struggled with, but the need for this has become amplified more recently.

2016

Write and meditate in some form or another every single day. These are both activities that make me feel well and keep me on track. In working full time I've made more excuses and written less. Words make me feel like me. Not writing is like a form of self-neglect. I vow to write everyday, because it's important and because I matter. Not everything has been written before (I fucking hate that quote that says it has! It's so uninspiring... ) and my words have great merit, even if only to myself.

Read more than before. 25 books in 2016. Zadie Smith reckons reading is a form of meditation. How often can you sit and read and be fully engrossed in a book and not realise that you've been sat there for hours simply staring at marks of ink on paper, using your imagination to fill in the gaps the author has left for you. It's basically hallucination. More of that please.

Blog weekly. This place will be a testament to that! I'll try my best. Writing in itself is good enough, but writing with some kind of direction requires a bit more effort.

Avoid chocolate/sweets. I did this in 2014 and felt incredible for it. Yes I dreamt of eating Percy Pigs accidentally pretty much weekly until the end of the year, but my skin looked great. And my determination and self control led me to achieve some pretty amazing things (including running a half bloody marathon!)

Run more than before. Last year I clocked up 194 kilometres. This year I'm set on pushing past the 200km mark.

What do you resolve to do with this new page?

The Wardrobe Doors

I’ve been putting off writing something on here for ages, which is kind of dumb. I just want to write something that really matters, which is silly because life is pretty transient and nothing lasts forever. But as an avid consumer of blogs, books, magazines, vlogs, etc. I want to create something really worthwhile. I’m constantly in awe of brilliant creators and it’s difficult to let it go, and simply create without worrying what brilliant work has come before, and what other people think of me.

 So f*** it I’m going to share something a little different today. 

I’m going to change the direction a little with this one and start to include more arty projects and things I do in my spare time. 

‘The Wardrobe Doors’ began when I was about seventeen. I wasn’t very happy. I’d dropped out of college and was staying in the south of France with my Aunty & Uncle for a while to try and clear my head a bit. On one particularly shitty day, I decided to write a mammoth list of all the things I loved, from silly seemingly insignificant things like coffee and beards, to John (my father and consequently the name of my first guitar.) When I arrived back in England six weeks later, and a little more mentally sound, I decided to write all these words up inside my wardrobe so I could see them every single day, and remember everything I loved about the world when I was struggling to find reasons to remain in it. 

The wardrobe doors remain the same to this day, though I’ve added bits here and there, and as you can see the list has continued to the back wall of the wardrobe. When my Mum eventually moves out of Priory Close I think it’ll be a bastard to paint over that marker pen… if I was a bit more hipster I’d probably write ‘YOLO!’ here, but I’m not so, erm... carpe diem. 

What makes you the happiest version of yourself? What do you love? Leave me lists in the comments, or send me a link to your own. 

:)