This girl can

Cue Missy Elliot. I think this is one of my favourite western female empowerment campaigns I've seen in a while.

When I was growing up I felt like there was always the expectation that sport/fitness was driven to appeal more to boys. I loved running around with my sister, playing games, trying to outrun her & the other girls in our street (although I often fell behind, being the youngest with the littlest legs.) When I reached primary school I played netball but I lost interest in it by the time I was an awkward thirteen year old trying to work out how to survive secondary school. I'd get embarrassed with how red my face went, how awkwardly I moved, how 'unfeminine' I felt & how I so desperately wanted to fit in and make friends. In my head doing exercise and sport made me look ugly and clumsy, rather than strong.

Now I love running. I love being sweaty. I love playing competitive games. I love pushing my body to the limits. I love getting stronger and moving faster. But this was something I only really came to terms with recently. That can be part of my identity, as a woman. It was something that I'd kind of brushed aside, that I wasn't 'sporty' enough. Then I grew up, and I realised it was something I valued and actually enjoyed. It surprised me, but I was glad for the realisation.

This Girl Can is a fucking brilliant campaign. I hope it encourages lots of women and girls to enjoy sport on a much bigger scale.

R.I.P ipod shuffle

This year hasn't started so great as far as the running goes... a whole two weeks off due to sickness and then I returned to Nottingham to find that I'd only gone and bloody put my iPod shuffle in the washing machine. Waaaah! Onwards and upwards.

On the upside I've surpassed 50% of my fundraising target for Scope which is amazing.

Back on the treadmill this afternoon to complete 15K, then will do a 5K recovery run outside later in the week. It seems kind of surreal that I'll be doing a half marathon in 47 days. All the nerves and anxieties about the event seem to be kicking in this week. I don't really know what to expect, and no matter how much I read about the subject, or even how much I actually run before then, nothing can really prepare me for the day itself until it comes along.

Reasons to run

Because I LOVE food. Running makes my bum look good. The feeling of accomplishment when I finish a run longer than I've ever managed before. Having all that time just to myself, in my head, daydreaming wherever the fuck I'd like to go. Having a boiling hot Lush bath or shower right afterwards. Chocolate milk recovery drinks ♥  To look good in my clothes and feel positive about my body. Just incase I ever need to outrun a zombie apocalypse/Hunger Games/I am Legend type situation. Healthy lungs, healthy heart, better circulation. Enjoying all those good endorphins! Pretending to race with the guy next to me on the treadmill. When life is cruel, it gives me a place I can shout & rage against it all; even if it is just inside my head, and in every heavy step. For all the days I have spent curled up in bed feeling sorry for myself. Running to the best music (i.e Tom Jones - It's Not Unusual.) Proving myself wrong when I don't want to run. To make my Mum & Dad proud. Because I have legs and I can bloody well use them. To get closer to completing a marathon. For the wind in my hair & the salt on my skin. So I can wear my nice Sweaty Betty kit. To push myself beyond the limits I give myself.

I will add to this as I go along :) 

Here's to 2015

This year has been bloody amazing. For the most part I've really enjoyed myself, spending quality time with friends and family, doing things that make me happy, and doing a job I value and enjoy 99% of the time. Here's my year in review, and my hopes and idea's for what I'd like 2015 to bring.

2014

This was the best year for gigs, perhaps even better than seeing The Rolling Stones in 2013! I didn't manage to do any festivals, but I did see some fave's I've been trying to see for years. John Butler Trio, Ellie Goulding, Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeroes, Eels. I had tears in my eyes more than once. 

Read all the books I wish I'd been able to read during my degree. This year I definitely made up for lost time & read more of what I wanted to. I also had the epiphany mid-March that I had indeed made the right decision in leaving Uni. I was on the wrong course, and I wasn't getting what I wanted from it, and I am thoroughly enjoying life right now. 

Visited lots of other Lush shops to support, and found it terrifying but so rewarding. I don't push my boundaries an awful lot, so this was a good experience of pushing through nerves and anxiety to go somewhere new and do something different. I also got to see a lot more of the UK thanks to my job including Leeds, Peterborough, York, Birmingham & Manchester. Who knows where 2015 will take me.

Completed Race for Life in record time of 26:55. Very proud moment as all the training paid off.

Went to two wonderful weddings. Both my cousin, and Toby's friend from Uni got married this year so we were lucky enough to go to two very different but very beautiful weddings. It's nice getting to dress up fancy, eat free food and prance around every one in a while.

In September we travelled to Moncayolle in France for Moz and Caroline's big party. Spent a long weekend near the Pyrenees camping, drinking, talking, playing volleyball for 6 hours, laughing & being around people I love. Had a fun birthday - went to the Lush spa in Liverpool for a Sound Bath with my Aunt Selina. 

I organised yoga in the loft at work to escape the Christmas craziness & it was perfect. I really enjoyed it, and it was a wicked bonding exercise. It's a shame it's over, but hopefully we can do it again next year. The lady who taught us, Emily, was such a gem. I've done yoga previously and never had such a kind, gentle, intuitive teacher. She taught us so much about listening to ourselves & our bodies, something I had never really experienced during a yoga class. In six brief weeks she taught me an awful lot about myself & I'm so grateful.

2015

I want to run more than I've ever run before. Obviously completing the half marathon is on my list, but I would love to cumulatively run 260KM as that's only a 5K a week which is definitely achievable if I run consistently. 

Learn BSL for work. I'd love to be able to offer deaf customers the same experience as others in store, and build on the sign language I have already learnt. 

Save up and go travelling in the autumn with Toby. We've talked about this literally since we met, and seeing as it's getting on 5 years I think it's about time we get round to it. We're both in a position to save money and be free enough to travel. I'd love to go to Bali and India, but I guess we'll decide during this year. I can't wait for this one :)

Play the guitar more. Whenever I hear anyone play I wish I spent more time with my fingers on the fretboard, now is as good a time as any to start playing more. 

Read and write more. Again just keeping up consistency much like with playing the guitar and running. It's all about using my free time more wisely to do the things that are important to me. 

What are your goals and ambitions for 2015? Did this past year bring you what you expected? 

Week Five: Rest

Christmas had flown by once again, and I've returned from my Mum's after a festive five days. I fully intended on running during the past week, as every week is crucial to get me closer to the half marathon in February, but I ended up spending more time sleeping, eating & playing Cards Against Humanity than I had anticipated.

I was pretty poorly the week before Christmas - and in fact totally lost my voice - so I needed a bit of down time. Mentally I really missed running this week, I needed that rest bite I get from the freedom of running, and the validation I feel after completing a run. But I wasn't well and it's important to learn to listen to my body when it's not right. 

I've since ordered a Garmin Forerunner 10 to help track my runs, and it should arrive tomorrow in time for a pre-work run (weeeee!) and I'm hoping to get myself some snazzy new running tights to keep me going through the cold. It's partly a reward for all the mileage I've already put in, and partly encouragement to keep me going long enough to complete the half in Brighton in 8 weeks. 

Things I've learnt over the past five weeks

• Running is just as mediative as yoga. I love the freedom I have to let my mind run as my body does the hard work. Sometimes it's much harder mentally than physically, when my brain doesn't want to run I've got to carry on anyway, which is something new to me. I'm learning a lot about my boundaries, and more than anything perseverance. My willpower and pain threshold are a lot greater than I thought.
• Eat properly before a run, otherwise prepare to be very uncomfortable. From eating too close to a run causing a bad stitch, to not consuming enough pre-run and having horrible jitters and sickness after a run, it's been a learning curve. Good nutrition is the basis of every good run.
• I won't always want to run, but that doesn't mean I can't run anyway. 

I hope you've all had a fun week relaxing with family and friends, health and happiness to you and yours for a brilliant end to 2014.

The hard work begins here...

Cue hyperventilating. Oh my God. I've actually gone and signed up for the Brighton Half Marathon, which takes place in 92 days. 92 Days! According to google and some guestimation, it is achievable.. so long as I train properly through the winter months.

I decided to fundraise for Scope because they're a wicked charity, who campaign to drive change in the way that society treat disability, and help create equal opportunities for disabled people. This is something close to home that I feel like Toby lives by. From what I know of my Dad, he also spent a large chunk of his life caring for people from lots of different backgrounds, with different levels of ability, with nothing but compassion and a good sense of humour.

Feel free to send some dollar to Scope via me here  as I've only got until Feb to raise £200.

I have legs, I should use them. I know this won't be an easy feat, I'll have to train hard both mentally and physically, but I am excited. Brighton is a beautiful city and I can't wait to run along the seafront.

Running

Two things happened today, that resulted in me ending up here this evening.

1. I picked up a book called ‘Running Like a Girl’ by Alexandra Heminsley in Waterstones today whilst I was procrastinating about going to the gym. I already had my trainers on, but sometimes it takes me a while to get mentally where I need to be for a run. I went to Cafe Nero, for a pre-gym coffee & started reading, and within 20 minutes I was contemplating signing up for the Brighton Marathon next April. She made me want to run, and keep running, and then run some more. I realised how interesting I find it reading about other peoples fitness and running stories: how they started, their struggles, their accomplishments, their motivation, what works and what doesn’t. Essentially why people run (other than the obvious one - to get away from someone/somewhere/something.) 

1. I went to the gym as I intended and I had a really good 10K run. I write it so easily, like I’ve done it so many times before, but it was only my second feat. I’m getting fairly confident and perhaps slightly complacent with running just 5K so I figured it was a good way to step it up. When I was running today I let go. I fully relaxed my mind and let it wonder wherever it wanted to, and it took me back here. A seed was planted mid-run, and I decided that when I got home I’d have a go at writing about my running habits. 

So, here goes nothing!

My Running Goals

Beat my 5K time (26:55)

Beat my 10K time (60:23)

Run a half-marathon

Run a marathon

Run a total of 125K by the end of 2014

Run a total of 200K in 2015