I'm going on a bear hunt

Truth be told, I'm a scaredy cat. It's the little things that make me feel uneasy.

Catching buses. Meeting people (whether I've known them years or five minutes). Going to new places. Making small talk. Waiting awkwardly at the counter in Pret for my coffee to be made. Clothes shopping. Eating in front of other people. Going to the gym. Being in clubs/pubs/bars/anywhere there's a delightful combination of alcohol and strangers.

But that's the exact reason I've always tried to push my boundaries. I need to be a yes man screaming 'YES!' from the top of my lungs, otherwise I'd struggle to get out the house most days.

It's the reason I uprooted my life from Devon to Nottingham alone when I was eighteen. The same reason I took the job in Kingston. The reason I'm flying to Bali on my own in two days time.

I've long had this deep seated belief that I need to move, in rather extreme ways, to get past the fear. People sometimes tell me I'm brave. Quietly I tell myself I'm mad. I don't feel like I have a choice; it feels more like an impulse. I get an idea of somewhere I need to be, and I follow my gut. It's that simple. It doesn't matter if I'm scared, or anxious, or excited, because I'll probably feel all those things wherever I go. All that matters is that I listen, really closely to what I really need. And that's why I'm here, and that's why I'm headed where I'm going.

Hello March

Apologies. I've already fallen off the blogging bandwagon in attempting to write on here weekly, but I've felt pretty uninspired, and we all know how all-consuming work can be sometimes. This week my aim is to work on that balance a little more and spend some time with friends in Nottingham. Oh I do bloody love that place. 

This is the month where things get exciting... 

In thirty days I will be flying to Bali. Flippin 'eck. When I planned the trip four months ago I was feeling pretty shite. I'm not going to sugarcoat it, it was really bad. But I'm getting there. There seems to be a lot to be grateful for and look forward to this month. 

I'm also going to see Matt Corby, The Correspondents and Natalie Merchant in the space of a week. One of my close friends is about to give birth, and the other has her hen do later on this month! I won't have time to feel sad about being dumped because I'll be too busy having fun, and to be honest it's the best thing for it.