The words that shaped me

I've always grown up around books. Dusty. Old. New. First editions. Shelves of them. Piles. Library lends. Dogeared. Re-read. Half-finished. Out of print. Banned. Gifted. Borrowed from friends.

It's no secret, I love books.

And each book you read shapes you. It leaves a little dent in your mind that says, 'I was here, remember me.'

The words I've read have changed me, for better or worse, opened up a little part of me I never knew existed. Taught me how to be, and how not to be. The differences between people.

So I thought I'd share with you the books that up until this point have left a mark on me. Obviously this will change over the years, but here, now, these are the books I have loved and let move me:

The one that taught me how to love: I Heard God Laughing - Hafiz 

The one that changed my mind about my mind: The Happiness Trap - Russ Harris

The one that made me feel a little less alone: Jane Eyre - Charlotte Brontë

The one that reminded me that limitation is all in the mind: Born to Run - Christopher McDougall

The one that helped me appreciate my sister: Little Women - Louisa May Alcott

The one that bit me with the travel bug: Eat, Pray, Love - Elizabeth Gilbert

Which books have left a little mark on you?

2:19:52

Barely 30 hours ago I completed the Brighton Half, and it already feels like some sort of surreal dream. If it wasn't for feeling like led weights were attached from my hips down, then I wouldn't count on it being more than a dream.

I wouldn't trade today's pain for anything - yesterday was immense. I was full of nerves before the race, & I'd spent most of this last week fretting about it and having dreams of running in treacle, forgetting all of my kit, and missing the start of the race. Every worry had crossed my mind, but I didn't let the fear get in the way of enjoying myself on race day.

Sure, two and a half hours is a long time to run, but I settled into a really good rhythm mentally, which kept me steady all the way round. The course takes you up towards the Marina, then all the way back down the coast up towards Hove. The stretch towards Hove seemed to go on forever, but my trusty playlist & the crowds kept me pumped. I took time to assess how I felt every so often - not 'Oh God my legs are killing me!' but more objectively, like 'What's tense? What's different? Am I swinging my arms freely? Am I hydrated enough? How's my footing?' A quick body scan every so often just to check in with myself, and then adjust accordingly. This really helped me run strong because I felt so conscious and aware of my movement - when normally I'd just switch off when running on the treadmill. I really wanted to be present and enjoy it as much as possible, after all I'd only be there running this exact day once!

The best advice I received was simply, to smile. I've just downloaded the audiobook of A Life Without Limits by Chrissie Wellington in which she dispensed this secret. Every time I felt like it was a struggle I forced a smile & it instantly flipped my mood.

Everything just seemed to click into place yesterday, and the only things that 'went wrong' per say, was when I squirted half of my first gel all up my arm (but I couldn't help but laugh at myself) and at the last drinks station when I momentarily queued up for the toilets, before deciding 40 seconds on that I could last until the end. It was the only kilometre where my pace was above 6:51which was very frustrating, but hey ho!

I was really chuffed with my time. I tried to place myself between the 2:15 and 2:30 pacers which seemed to work well. I'd love to work on bring my time down to 2 hours, that'll be the next challenge.

If you run you are a runner

I've clocked up 64Km already this year, meaning if I continue at this rate I'll manage 760Km by the end of the year which seems insane. Running gives me this strange kind of joy I can't quite find anywhere else. When I'm happy, I run. When I'm angry, I run. It's a relief. It's redemption. It's this thing that feels bigger than me, like when I step out on to the pavement I am syncing up with the world, and I am suddenly much closer to everything. It's beginning to get strangely addictive - something I never thought I'd say about running.

This was on the Sweaty Betty bag I received with my last purchase.

This last week I've spent most of my hours in-between finishing work and drifting off to sleep, listening to an audiobook version of Born to Run by Christopher McDougall via Audible. It's so incredible the distances ultra-runners go for, and it's been really inspiring me to look at why I run, and what I should aim for. Every time I plug it in to my ear buds I want to run a little bit more, immediately. It's pure brilliance.